MMM MMM Good!

Yes.  Part of my 40 Day of Eat Pray Love, I intended to cook 4 new recipes.  I still have the time… but I did my first one the other day and well… it was a success.  Now everyone wants to have the recipe.  I don’t mind.  I caused the issue… I posted the pot and a few pics of the soup on line.  I’m thinking that I got the cooking gene from my mom.  That woman CAN cook.  I only wish I can cook half as well as she can. I try.  And yesterday’s soup was one more step towards being a good cook.

About a year ago, I found a website, www.thugkitchen.com, and I hadn’t laughed so hard at a blog.  Now mind you, every other word is the f bomb on this blog (and they could be relatives with the language similarities),  but they are a bit inspirational.  I won’t be a Barefoot Contessa or Pioneer Woman, but I’ll be a sassy chick with a wooden spoon. (Oh… some of you went there.  Put down the 50 Shades and get to choppin)

Ok Then… it’s time for me to share my cooking experience. In my words.  In my style. 

ZUPPA TOSCANA… a la Miz M
This soup almost didn’t happen.  I couldn’t find ground Italian sausage at first in the store and I almost chucked the whole thing.  Yes, a “fuck it moment” in the store. But as I put the kale back and almost started to think about making a pot roast, I found the ground Italian sausage.  I grabbed a pound of the sweet Italian sausage and figured that I’ll add a little more of the red pepper flakes and spice that shit up.

Got the ingredients. (And the last package of kale)  Went back home and started in on this bad boy.

Got out my stock pot and went to town. I didn’t get an enameled Dutch oven for Christmas.  I only hinted for freaking months and even people who would have benefited from me getting said Dutch Oven and watched me look at them every chance I got still didn’t get the damn hint… but that’s water under the bridge. I'll buy my own fricken Dutch oven. Enough said. Kitchens don’t need bitter cooks.  My trusty stockpot did the job. It's good for that Martha Stewart Tri Clad bitch to get used to death.

Add a large splash of olive oil to your stockpot and add the sausage.  Brown it up until there is no pink in the meat and don't let it get crusty. I don't mind the crust sometimes, but in this case   - NOPE.   There will be chunks and small parts.  Just make sure there’s no pink, but don’t let it crumble up like you’re making sloppy Joes or loose meat sandwiches.  You want chunks.  Trust me on this. 
Once the meat is browned nicely, set it aside and drain whatever grease is on the bottom.  If there is scrapings on the bottom… KEEP them.  Next, grab about 7 slices of bacon.  I got the thick cut smoked.  I’m thinking next batch, I’m going with pancetta, but I can’t guarantee that I’ll have the flavor of good old bacon.  Before you flop it in the pan, cut it in fourths or smaller.  (Trust me on this too.) Fry it up very crisp.  It will be fine in the soup.  Once fried, set that aside as well.  Drain the grease, but leave about a tablespoon in the bottom of the pan.  If you did this shit up right, there will be more scrapings on the bottom and that is good.  It's all about the flava. 
To the bacon grease, add a half of a large onion that has been chopped.  And add three cloves of minced garlic.  (No need for more… it’s just the hint of garlic.)  To this, add 7 medium sliced russet potatoes. (Why 7?  Sure 7 is a lucky number, but as the soup cooks, some of the potatoes will crumble and that will help thicken the soup.)  I used my mandolin and set it to ¼ inch slices.  Use russet potatoes as well.  I wanted to use Yukon gold, but they fall apart too easily.  Reds will do the same.  There's something about the texture.  You need tates that hold up.  Serious tates so that when and if there are leftovers, they stay in slices and don’t go to mush.  This also freezes well. 

Be careful using the mandolin, too.  Use the cutting guard and be sure to watch yourself.  You don’t want to slice the tip of your finger off.  That will  land you a trip to the ER and the whole soup making experience will be ruined.  I know a woman that messed up her pickles that way.   You don’t want to fuck up your soup.

Add the tates and two 32 oz boxes of chicken stock.  Add Salt and Pepper and three hard shakes of red pepper flakes.  This will give you a little zip, but won’t singe your tongue.  If you want it spicy-er, add two more shakes BUT DON’T USE SARACHA OR TABASCO. I love the stuff.  I do.  This heat tastes different.  Stick with the flakes.  It’s Italian.
Cook until the potatoes are tender.  The onions should be translucent by then as well.  This is about a good 30 to 45 minutes. Stir occasionally and the scrapings from the bottom will become loose and join the broth.  MMMMM…. Bacon scrapings.  Yep.  Tasty stuff.  Now you’re thinking, but there will be black flakes in my soup.  I use ground pepper.  There’s already flakes from that so why not the scrapings from the bottom of the pan.  DUH. 
While the soup is simmering it might be a serious chance to chill out, but wash up some kale and chop 2 cups into bite-sized pieces and then chill a bit.  Once the tates are tender, add the sausage, the bacon and the kale and cook for about 7-10 minutes.  The kale will remain a bit firm and it will be a gorgeous green.   Packer green, Emerald Green… lush green. 
After 10 minutes or so, turn the soup down and add a full cup – 8 oz – one little container of HEAVY WHIPPING CREAM.  Yes, I just said heavy whipping cream.  Half–n-half won’t cut it.  For you gluten free peeps… I know this is what thickens your soup without flour.  That and the starch from the tates. (Plus it tastes better without the flour or cornstarch.  You don’t want Gravy Toscana.  Ick.  Flour is great for a roux.  Not this soup).  Heat the soup all the way through, but don’t boil the shit out of it.  It will separate and that will be one gross looking soup.  (Big globs of white floating amongst meat and green stuff.  Not a good thing. Still tastes ok, but just the wrong look and consistency) 

Get out your big soup bowls and dish up.  You might want to add some fresh grated parmesan cheese or a bit more added fresh black pepper.  Or those of you that want more kick, a shake of pepper flakes to your bowl. 
I had a couple of slices of crusty French bread and you have your soup.  This glorious rich soup without having to go to the Olive Garden and listen to screaming kids or the server coming to your table every 5-7 minutes asking if you want more bread sticks.

And in the words of Makelmore:  THIS IS FUCKIN AWESOME!

 Olive Garden Zuppa Toscana Soup

 Ingredients

1 lb Italian Sausage (spicy if you prefer more heat)

5-7 slices of bacon (GO 7… it is bacon.  And I know you want bacon)

5-7 medium russet potatoes.  (go less if they are a larger medium, but 7 gives the right consistency)

2 c kale, chopped

1 c heavy whipping cream

(2) 32 oz cans /boxes of chicken broth

½ large onion

2-3 cloves of garlic, minced

2 tsp red pepper flakes

Salt and pepper

Sassy attitude

Favorite music in the background